The start of the school year is overwhelming for kids and parents!
It doesn't matter if your a child, a parent or even a young adult in college, the start of the school year brings a lot of emotion with it!
I LOVE the start of the year, I love fall and I really love getting organized!
It also brings a variety of competing emotions with it, which I believe at times can be very overwhelming and exhausting!
There are new transitions, new schedules and routines to get used to. Usually new people to meet which can be an added layer of anxiety for us all. Maybe it's a new teacher or friend for a parent to get to know and for the kids they may have new classmates and new adults in their world.
When we start new things and meet new people it means recognizing that something else has ended. Some humans aren't even struggling with what is coming next but how to say goodbye to what they had! A sense of loss or mourning for a situation that they really loved! Moving forward with disappointment is hard for all of us!
There is the added bonus of uncertainty that comes with doing new things! We start the endless cycle of “what ifs” and create situations that we feel we need answers to. The not knowing is one of those situations that brings a host of feelings with it for most people. I think it's human nature to have a lot of questions when starting something new! We are hoping someone can tell us the answer and in the end it usually is something that we have to experience ourselves and do our best!
For parents this time of year can also add a bit of excitement that the kids will be back in a schedule and at school. A bit of relief washes over us as parents. We usually don't say it outloud to anyone at the risk of sounding like a "bad parent" and feeling guilty that we are secretly wishing our kids to go back to school.
There usually comes with it at some point during this transition the realization that another year has passed. This feeling of panic comes and goes as we see our children growing up right in front of us and realize that time goes so fast and the moments we have with them are fleeting.
The added stress of back to school shopping, let's not forget that! This can be for clothes and school items. Clothes can be tough if you have children with sensitive sensory systems, or a child who has their own sense of style (making you uncomfortable), or for kids who are trying to figure out who they are and what they like! For some this is fun to do and some kids are excited! For other kids this triggers big emotions and we bring them to the store and they "act out". It turns into a stressful situation, parents are annoyed that kids aren't grateful for the hundreds of dollars they just dropped and kids are melting down, a hot mess of a situation!
WHY?
FEELINGS!!!
Lots and lots of feelings! I mentioned a few of the big situations and feelings, I am sure there are more!
If we pause and take a minute to appreciate ALL the feelings here and how they compete in our minds as we are trying to stay on top of the "regular" stuff like our jobs, cleaning, bills, food ect we can see why we feel overwhelmed!
On top of that we are probably trying to parent kids who also feel overwhelmed right now! They most likely are not telling you, they are showing you!
They might be more triggered, maybe acting out, having meltdowns, being short, rude or curt!
After being exhausted ourselves and having to handle our own emotions we also don't have as much room and patience to "deal" with our kids behavior!
You might be thinking thanks for pointing out the obvious, tell me what to do!
So I will share a few things that might help you feel better and less overwhelmed...
- Practice the Parent Pause (yes I know you are busy, take 5 seconds to check in with yourself each day, longer if you can). Try and pause when responding to your child, as much as you can remember and tell yourself "this is not about me they are having a hard time too"
- Practice self compassion- Recognize even though you may be feeling you are the only person few this way, I promise you that most parents are feeling the same way. YOU are not alone! Take steps to be mindful and give yourself grace! We know there are not perfect parents, are you really practicing that? Are you putting expectations on yourself that are unattainable and the reality is your kids need you in all your imperfect ways, NOT to be perfect!
- Sit down with your kids and create a game plan! getting on the same page and being a fierce leader and communicator with your family will empower you all to feel better!
- Honor ALL emotions, name them and talk about them in front of your kids. Don't try and hide how you are feeling. Let yourself and your kids know that it is ok to feel that way. The worst thing we can do for big feelings is to feel alone with them. Try and talk about feelings and ways that you practice taking a deep breath and pausing with your kids. If they share listen, don't preach or teach, just listen!
- Practice gratitude… and I mean action! Make a list, tell someone thank you that you appreciate them and find the wins!
- Try to put things into perspective! When we feel overwhelmed it can snowball quick! Try to be aware and take a moment to breathe and focus on what is true right now!
- Have fun, take a minute to have fun and connect with your kids!
For more tips on parenting follow me on instagram @connectionsparentcoaching
Local friends who need support I will be doing a parent workshop September 18th 6-8 at Cupola coffee… to register click here⬇️
https://form.jotform.com/connectionsparentcoaching/parent-workshop-registration-sep-18
If you need support on your parenting journey, reach out for a free connection call 💗
https://www.connectionsparentcoaching.com/
Comments
Post a Comment